Religions of the world spontaneously combusted yesterday after Richard Dawkins’ eloquent deconstruction of God, spirituality and everything at the Atheist synod in Melbourne, Australia.
Buddhists were seen running screaming from the room, Catholic nuns fainted enmass, Hindus renounced yoga in favour of cigarettes, porno and British accents and Muslim imams were heard muttering, “There is no God but Nature and Dawkins is the Messenger of Nature.” Wars have ceased, torture is a distant memory (cough, cough, Sam Harris), and everyone, everywhere is now basking in intellectual supremacy. Overnight, it seems, Atheists have achieved a Godless nirvana and all is now right with the world.
What precipitated this astounding turn of events you may ask? Well the switch from reason and logic to personal abuse and hyperbole of course. The Pope is a Nazi, Steve Fielding is less intelligent than an earthworm and sophisticated theologians are no better than fundamentalist wingnuts. Of course [90% of world population collectively slaps their foreheads]! How could we have been so blind all these years! We must bow to this superior wisdom!
A note for the earthworms, this is sarcasm.