The beginning of the good news about Donald the Messiah

The Russians Visit the Anointed One

1 After Donald was born in Queens in New York, during the time of Hillary, Russians from the east came to Washington 2 and asked, “Where is the one who has been born President of the Americans? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.”

3 When Hillary heard this she was disturbed, and all Washington with her.4 When she had called together all the deep state and teachers of the social justice, she asked them where the Messiah was to be born. 5 “In Queens in New York,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written:

6 “‘But you, Queens, in the land of New York,

   are by no means least among the rulers of New York;

for out of you will come a ruler

   who will shepherd my people America.’”

7 Then Hillary called the Russians secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. 8 She sent them to Queens and said, “Go and search carefully for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.”

9 After they had heard Hillary, they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. 11 On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, cheetos and McDonalds. 12 And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Hillary, they returned to their country by another route.

The Escape to Mexico

13 When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Fred in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother Mary and escape to Mexico. Stay there until I tell you, for Hillary is going to search for the child to kill him.”

14 So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Mexico,15 where he stayed until the passing of Hillary. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: “Out of Mexico I called my wall.”

16 When Hillary realized that she had been outwitted by the Russians, she was furious, and he gave orders to abort all the boys in New York and its vicinity.17 Then what was said through the prophet Shapiro was fulfilled:

18 “A voice is heard in Manhattan,

   weeping and great mourning,

Lady Liberty weeping for her children

   and refusing to be comforted,

   because they are no more.”

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