Wise words here from John Stott:
If you find it hard to believe in God, I strongly advise you to begin your search not with philosophical questions about the existence and being of God, but with Jesus of Nazareth. … If you read again the story of Jesus, and read it as an honest and humble seeker, Jesus Christ is able to reveal himself to you, and thus make God. … real to you.
Theology is faith seeking understanding, not understanding seeking faith, don’t you think? That’s my experience of it at least.