Curious Christian

Reflections on culture, nature, and spirituality from a Christian perspective

Why I don’t bubble my boys

Published by

Matt Stone

2010-06-10

People often ask us why we don’t send our boys to Christian educational institutions. Why we let them go to a local school and a local preschool where Christians are a minority. Why we let them be exposed to so many other religions at such a young age. Why we’d risk it, risk them falling away.

You know what I say? I say again and again to those who ask: I’d rather our boys be exposed to them now, when we have maximum influence over them, than bubble them away from them till they reach university, when we have minimum influence over them. We say we’d rather they learn not to be xenophobic, not to be insular, that they’d learn to live with people from other traditions peacefully, that they’d learn to discern the real differences from real neighbours rather than the clichéd differences from dusty textbooks. We’d like them to learn how to be in the world, yet not of the world from us, their family and friends. Does that make sense? Do you understand where we’re coming from?

Tags Parenting

14 responses to “Why I don’t bubble my boys”

Jarred

2010-06-11

It makes perfect sense to me and echoes much of what I’ve said on the topic in the past, myself. I’d also add that it gives both kids and parents to learn early on that the “pat answers” and “responses to non-Christians” that are most often taught “inside the bubble” rarely have the expected results when offered to a real live non-Christian (and the response received can actually VARY based on the particular “kind” of non-Christian one comes into contact with). It’s better they learn that now and learn to adjust accordingly rather than find themselves on their own with a bunch of “easy answers” that don’t work and tend to cause more problems than they solve.

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Dan Danforth

2010-06-11

On a somewhat similar note, I was wondering Matt, if you have any recommendations on books or other resources for teaching children Christian meditation?

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Peggy

2010-06-11

Matt, this is exactly the position we have taken with our boys. It is the same one we use when we allow them to see movies or read books that many Christians see as “questionable” or even “anti” faith/God, etc.
We want to find out what they’re thinking and help them see what is good and filter out what is not good. Those things that are true and those things that are so NOT true. A way of helping them perceive reality, well, as REAL and not fake.
Way too much out there is passed off as being real when it is fake.
When we’re watching movies with the boys, they are totally annoyed as we pause and talk with them about what is happening. It takes a long time, but it is totally worth it.
Good onya, mate!

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Jonathanblake

2010-06-11

Very good reasoning. You’ve put into words how I’ve felt concerning my future children’s social life and schooling. Thank you for showing Christians a different way to raise children than what’s commonly perpetuated.

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Carlo

2010-06-11

Yes absolutely – Amen! Sometimes I feel Christians think God calls them to be “of the world, but not in it.” rather than the other way round.

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Arthurandtamie.wordpress.com

2010-06-11

Plus, as someone who grew up in a good church school, I’d say there’s just as much ‘risk’ of children falling away wherever you send them. Church schools and independent Christian schools can end up inoculating children against God in a whole range of ways. In a sense I am a Christian in spite of my Christian school background! And of course, children will still reject God even when Christianity’s at its best. The question of schooling is very much an open question for Christians to grapple with! 🙂
A.

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Sallys-Journey

2010-06-11

makes perfect sense to me, and this is exactly what we did with our children! And for the same reasons; the results 5 well rounded articulate inclusive Christians who aren’t afraid to engage with the world around them. Couldn’t have wanted more. God is good, and the world, well the world is not all bad….

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Nathan

2010-06-13

You got a guernsey on the FriendlyAtheist for this…

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Nathan

2010-06-13

Perhaps I should try that link again: http://friendlyatheist.com/2010/06/12/an-argument-for-christians-sending-their-children-to-public-schools/

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sandy

2010-06-14

Being a mom w/ 3 children who are grown w/ families of their own I feel I have to comment. I think what is more important then the educational institutions that we send our children to is our relationships w/ our children and w/ our God.If you have a good talking,working relationship w/ your children that will get you through most things. Children will often rebel one way or another and it’s that relationship that will carry you through. I have seen children go to (what I would call) very legalistic schools and come out okay because of the family talking it through. I have also seen children come out of poor inter city schools w/ their faith in tact because of the family relationship.If we as parents are doing our job introducing our children to the poor,the sick, the widows etc…..and living the word does it really matter where the go?

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Matt Stone

2010-06-15

Nathan, thanks. I had a bit of a laugh. Hemant described me as copping “flak” for my position, which is a bit of an overstatement. I often get “queries” but nobody gives me “flak” over it. I gather it’s difficult for him to imagine how relaxed the Christian scene is here in Australia in comparison to America so I’ll forgive him for imagining this is a more radical stance than it actually is.

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Jarred

2010-06-15

I’m not convinced such a stance would be all that radical here in the states either, Matt. Yes, among some of the more vocal and — if you will forgive my bluntness — paranoid segments of American Christianity it would be seen as radical and dangerous. But I do know plenty of American Christians who take a similar attitude about schooling, and they’re not seen as radical. To be honest, I think most — even among Christians — still tend to see the “we must shelter our children against every (perceived) evil” mentality as the more radical stance.

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Jarred

2010-06-15

Oh, I’ll also note that a lot of people here in America actually send their children to private schools or homeschool them because they believe (and in many cases, with good reason) that it will give their children a better education. I know more than a few non-Christian kids attending Christian-run private schools for that very reason.

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Matt Stone

2010-06-16

From engaging with various folk I get the impression that the American scene is more polarized. The liberals seem more liberal, the conservatives seem more conservative, the middle ground seems less populated. Hemant comments mostly about conservatives and from things he’s said over time I gather he hasn’t been exposed to too much else (he occationally expresses surprise over things I take for granted). My stance probably seems left of field from that perspective even though I wouldn’t call myself liberal at all, at least theologically.
I don’t know any secular people who homeschool, only Christians and hippies.

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