Curious Christian

Carl McColman has been blogging on his journey from Paganism to (Catholic) Christianity.

In it he talks of talks of his dark night of the soul when his meditations failed him:

In the excitement of my demanding schedule as a writer and teacher, I fell into that spiral of doubt. Little by little, Pagan spirituality stopped working for me. The goddesses and gods who had once filled my rituals with power and purpose gradually fell silent and seemed absent. Magical workings became a chore, rather than a source of meaning and joy. Even meditation eventually lost its luster; what had been a reliable source of inner peace became a tormented forum in which I struggled against feelings of spiritual boredom and restlessness. I began to profoundly question Paganism’s capacity to make a positive difference in my life.

Christianity has a simple, yet effective prayer for those who doubt: “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). Christians often view doubt as a problem to be solved through prayer, counseling, or study. But my Pagan doubt seemed more than just a transitory problem—it threatened my entire religious identity. Since Paganism relies on experience, what does it mean to experience profound doubt? If I dismissed such experience as “wrong,” that would just lead to questioning all of my spiritual experience—even my happier “magical” experiences. Once mired in doubt, I found nothing to fall back on—no faith, no belief, no dogma. The very quality of Paganism that initially appealed to me seemed to leave me ill equipped to face my inner questioning.

For more see After The Magic

I find this interesting as the dark night of the soul is an expected part of the journey for the contemplative Christian.