Curious Christian

Reflections on culture, nature, and spirituality from a Christian perspective

Feeling irreverent tonight after speaking to a Trekkan High Priest.1

I composed this in response to a comment but thought, what the heck, let’s publish. Here’s my take on the Christian menagerie:

Vulcans = NeoCalvanists (Noted for their attempt to live by reason and logic, with no interference from emotion.)

Klingons = Christian counter-cult (Roughly humanoid in appearance … perhaps their most prominent external feature is their ridged forehead.)

Borg = Megachurches (They are characterized by relentless pursuit of targets for assimilation, rapid adaptability to almost any defense, and the ability to continue functioning properly despite seemingly devastating blows. They have become a powerful symbol in popular culture for any juggernaut against which “resistance is futile”)

Ferengi = Prosperity theologians (Like most of their culture, their religion is also based on principles of capitalism: they offer prayers and monetary offerings to a Blessed Exchequer in hopes of entering the Divine Treasury upon death, and fear an afterlife spent in the Vault of Eternal Destitution.)

Vorta = Charismatic worship leaders (Have a very poorly developed aesthetical and sensory taste)

Of course, my style of Christianity would be represented by the enlightened Federation. Any more suggestions?

1Trekka is a faux Star Trek Wicca Tradition

28 responses to “The Star Trek Guide To Christianity”

  1. John W. Morehead Avatar

    This is awesome, Matt. I am a huge Star Trek fan, especially the original series, and this fits into my studies in religion and pop culture. Glad to see it get mentioned here!

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  2. Kalessin Avatar

    I guess that means that Zefram Cochrane sparked off the Reformation — to the tune of Steppenwolf’s “Magic Carpet Ride,” no less.
    But let’s do some PROPER research here:
    Voyager and Deep Space Nine clearly represent the Incarnational Mission crowd, complete with a shapeshifter and funky postmodern questioning of the Prime Directive.
    Contrariwise, the android Data represents traditional evangelistic methods, and periodically blowing up The Enterprise represents Church History. ‘Partitioning the ship’ before blowing it up represents the whole ‘must.. create… separate… Christian… culture’ reflex.
    Any given nebula they happen to be nearby — and they’re always near one, and it always looks neat-o — represents the Color Conference; by extension, T’Pol may represent all those cute Hillsong girls.
    But who’s Q?

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  3. Kalessin Avatar

    Hey John W. M.,
    Have you read Stanley Grenz’s opening chapter in “A Primer on Postmodernism” in which he uses old and new Star Trek to explain modernism vs. postmodernism. I’ve used the analogy many times since.
    Nigel.

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  4. Peggy Avatar
    Peggy

    Remember, now, that Q is not just one immortal, but a member of the Q Continuum…from which he was expelled…does that make him Satan?
    And then there’s Species 8974…(is that the right number?)
    And Chakote…cosmic, vision-questing warrior…
    And the Ocampa and Kess…
    But, what…neglect the ubiquitous holographic doctor of Voyager? Come now, friends…
    And what of Seven of Nine…returning from Borg to human…mostly…
    And the randomly convergent offspring of her nanoprobes infecting the doctor’s mobile emiter — One. One was my favorite messianic echo…superior technology, yet willing to sacrifice for the welfare of his “collective.” In the face of his impending death…and the pain it would cause Seven, he resisted, reminding her that “you will adapt….”
    So much work to do on this…so little time 🙂

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  5. Kalessin Avatar

    There’s a Ph.D. for the taking right here, and make no mistake.

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  6. Sun Warrior Avatar

    LOL, that is brilliant, Matt!
    Now, please, which Federation? From the original Star Trek? Please, not from the Next Generation! Nothing worse than middle class professional humans trying to turn the universe into the boring suburbs…

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  7. Matt Stone Avatar

    Seven of Nine clearly represents many of the Emerging Church Post-Fundamentalist crowd – deconstructing their faith one nanobot at a time. She’s left the megachurch collective but still has hardwired implants that get away from her on occasion. Has a reputation for being strange but sexy.

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  8. Matt Stone Avatar

    “Chakote…cosmic, vision-questing warrior…” Sun Warrior, would that be you? Maybe Chakote should stand for post-Christian earth religionists in general.

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  9. Matt Stone Avatar

    So how would I class myself and others from the Community of Hope / Thin Places network who blog about treating other religions with respect? Definitely Betazoids. (From Wikipedia: Betazoids are empathic … and can sense the emotions of a wide variety of species … Betazoids born with their telepathic abilities fully developed almost never lead normal lives – they are constantly bombarded with the thoughts of others around them, and drive themselves to distraction … The REM frequency of sleeping Betazoids is different from that of most humanoids.)
    Q = The Jesus Seminar, with their aloof arrogance and singular focus on the Q Gospel Continuum.
    Tribbles = Liberal Christianity. Fluffy and considered harmless by many, they really get up the nose of Klingons.

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  10. Peggy Avatar
    Peggy

    See…I knew we could keep this going deeper!
    Yes, the Betazoids…Counselor Troi…I mean Matt 🙂
    And that’s Species 8472…my husband was good enough to correct me. What’s their story about…destroy everything that contaminates their perfect environment…
    But it does remind me of the original series and the 2nd season episode (The Changeling) about Nomad — the little droid that thought Kirk was his creator…and went about effecting repairs on all of the “faulty units”…which led him to want to rid the Enterprise of all those faulty humans…you gotta check out the Wikipedia article….
    I’ll leave the PhD to someone else, but would be glad to brainstorm…being old enough to have watched all the original series the first time they aired 🙂

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  11. Peggy Avatar
    Peggy

    But the trouble with Tribbles (tee hee) was that they ate up all the stored grain and reproduced like mad…hmm, Matt…give it a go, brother…

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  12. sally Avatar

    excellent stuff- I guess my interest would be in the Bajoran wormhole at Deep Space Nine… all that mystery and ritual and wisdom to connect with-yup out on the extreeme waky edges- that’s where I belong!!!

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  13. sally Avatar

    yes my keyboard can’t spell tonight!!!!

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  14. Sun Warrior Avatar

    LOL, have to admit, didn’t pay much attention to that series with Chakote in it. I don’t know too much about vision-QUESTING. The cosmos ‘interrupts’ me with visions, is more like it.
    Hmmm… who would Capt. Janeway represent in Christianity??? Was that the series where they were lost all the time??? I thought it was men that never asked for directions… oh, I get it… multicultural tin can flying through space lost, but convinced of its mission… world religions in general??? I’m getting catty now, and that’s another movie…
    I always identified with Scotty… getting the warp engines going when it seemed impossible. I learned my Scottish accent by saying ‘matter – anti-matter transducer.’

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  15. Matt Stone Avatar

    Bizarre insights – I realized two startling features in the Rider Waite Tarot tonight with respect to the Devil card.
    Firstly, some symbolic arm action synchronicity between the Devil and the Magician, both ‘as above, so below’ connection, but the bent arm of the Devil suggesting a distorted version. Anti-Christ indeed.
    Ok, that doesn’t relate to this thread but the second insight does. If you look closely at the Devil’s right hand he’s giving a Vulcan ‘live long and prosper’ hand sign. See here. But if you believe the wikipedia entry, Nimoy based this on the Hebrew character ‘shin’ which points to Shaddai.
    I don’t know if this means NeoCalvanists are Satanic or whether A E Waite became a Trekkie after channeling Spock before his time or what. You decide.
    Oh, and my original muse has recommended we check out
    The Church of Spock of Latter Day Science Officers

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  16. Matt Stone Avatar

    Peggy, it was actually the altered REM frequency of Betazoids that nailed it for me. If you look at the posting times of some of us Thin Placers you’ll see what I mean. I mean, Kalessin has aptly demonstrated it in this very thread. A post at 2:21am and the next at 5:40am. My hat off mate, 3 hours sleep between blogging, you’re worse than me! When I sleep under three hours I at least stop for breakie first!

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  17. Peggy Avatar
    Peggy

    Matt…just remember the time warp for me here in the States…I am not blogging at 4:50 a.m PST….I’m sleeping 🙂
    And Voyager wasn’t necessarily lost…it was way too many light years from home out in the Delta Quadrant…what about that Caretaker, anyway?
    Who would Janeway be? Hmmm….hard to say, but I did like her. Queen Elizabeth I, head of the Church of England, comes to mind, but it’s not a hard and fast call…

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  18. Matt Stone Avatar

    Ah, but Kalessin wasn’t. He’s in the same timezone as me.

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  19. sally Avatar

    Janeway as the Pope?- now I’m being naughty!!!

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  20. Peggy Avatar
    Peggy

    No, Sally…that would be the Borg Queen’s spot, I’d think. (Being equally naughty)
    I’ll have to think a little longer on Janeway…

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  21. Matt Stone Avatar

    I am still wondering what to do with The Doctor. Do you think Rick Warren maybe? His program can only operate within the confines of the holodeck or when carrying a mobile emitter?
    I think I have nailed another on though, Kadi = Southern Baptists (From Wikipedia: a humanoid species that live in the Delta Quadrant. They are a deeply spiritual people; shunning everything from entertainment to spicy foods. In their culture, males and females work separately … Kadi physiology lacks a common enzyme which breaks down synthehol, making it non-alcoholic. Drinking beverages that are syntheholic would cause them to become “drunk.”)

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  22. Matt Stone Avatar

    On Borg Queen nautiness, in keeping with the Borg=Megachurch theme I would have said Darlene Zschech. I am just thinking of how to work the ‘daughter, warrior, princess’ t-shirts into this thread for the benefit of Jen. I think we could see Hillsong CDs as nanoprobes. Do the Borg ever use swords?
    PS. Jen, I see they’re still using you as the poster girl for Morling College, except it would seem you cycle between four different personas.

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  23. Peggy Avatar
    Peggy

    I dunno, Matt…the Doctor makes me think of Bill Gothard (have you ever heard of him?) more than Rick Warren, as a know-it-all control freak…but then he mellows out over time and picks up on Data’s search to become recognized as a sentient being…
    Never saw the Borg with swords…too primitive, probably!
    I must say that my world is just too narrow to track with your group…don’t know Darlene Zschech
    …I am unworthy, but appreciative of the banter 😉

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  24. Matt Stone Avatar

    Never heard of him but he sure looks creepy. I visited his website and thought (head taken aback) Stepford Wives territory! I suppose that would go with the bot theme for megachurches. Darlene Zschech is the one who’s always in the throws of (ahem) … worship ecstasy on the front of Hillsong albums. See here, here and here for representative examples (should I do a caption competition?) of her doing he thang. Her most recognizable song is probably “Shout to the Lord.” Second thoughts, maybe Joyce Mayer should be the Borg Queen? I am not overly familiar with her (by choice!) but she could be a candidate.

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  25. Peggy Avatar
    Peggy

    Well, Matt, I must say that I am proud to be able to introduce you to brother Bill…and he is creepy…and Stepford Wives is the perfect description. His story is so tragic…I actually went to one of his Basic Youth Conflicts seminars in 1974…still creeps me out to think of him. His teachings were at the bottom of a recent church split in my area. Pathetic, really.
    On the other hand, the Doctor is really a great “guy”, once you get to know him. So, Bill Gothard won’t fit after all. Who is a really great guy, always doing his part to help the cause, but just rubs everyone the wrong way…and had a problem thinking too highly, and too frequently, of himself? Hmmm.
    Do you mean Joyce Meyer of pentecostal stripe? I’m not overly familiar with her, either, but based on the titles of her books, she may be a contender.

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  26. Kalessin Avatar

    Matt wrote:
    > “A post at 2:21am and the next at 5:40am. My hat off mate, 3 hours sleep between blogging, you’re worse than me!”
    I think I can best reply to such dayist imperial nonsense by quoting from /The Devil’s Advocate/:
    > “Who says he sleeps?”

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  27. Kalessin Avatar

    Hey Matt —
    The Hillsong musings you linked to on Jen’s blog: she says:
    > “They’re all made of humans!”
    IT’S THE BORG!!! AARRRRRRRRRGGH!!!
    Well, OK, the context may have altered the reading:
    > “Yes, I know that every church has its faults. They are all made of humans! But instead of focusing on these faults, how about we focus on the good in churches, celebrate these, and learn from them!”

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  28. Jen Waddell Avatar

    I knew you couldn’t resist Matt!
    I rest my case 🙂

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