Curious Christian

Brian McLaren once observed that one of the toughest challenges the emerging church faces in post-modern culture is “to develop a new way of talking about – and with – other religions” (McLaren – Church on the Other Side). The reality is though, few within the emerging church are any better at doing this than the evangelists of the institutional church. So, since I have developed a reputation in this area, let me share one of my secrets with you. Initiating conversation with religious “others” does not require apologetic expertise. What it requires is childlike curiosity and simply courtesy.

Inviting others to share their stories

In a recent post I commented “…you know, there’s great power in simply inviting someone else to share their story.” I would like to say, this was no mere throw away line. In actual fact, inviting others to share their stories is what I consider to be THE most effective way of initiating inter-religious conversations. I will explain why.

1/ Inviting others to share their stories shows you can listen. People often express amazement that I can just waltz on into Wiccan and Buddhist and even Satanist forums and strike up conversations and be accepted pretty easy, when other Christians get shunned almost immediately. But all I do differently is, before I talk much about myself, I ask people to tell me about themselves. For example, there is a thread I initiated on one interfaith dialogue site, which has been running for months, that I started simply by asking, “Tell me about your gods and goddesses”. The truth is, people love to talk about themselves and what inspires them and if you want to get people talking that’s a great way. And if you show them that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say, the harder task then becomes shutting them up. People shun Christians not because they are naturally hateful but because they are used to Christians only being interested in monologue. So I say, show you are different and ask others to share their story first. Do unto others…

2/ Inviting others to share their stories invites reciprocation. But the magical thing is – inviting others to share their story almost invariably prompts them to ask you to share your story in return. For the evangelical who suspects my approach is wishy washy, I ask, is it better for you to shove the good news onto people, when unasked for, or is it better for people to freely invite you to share the good news with them out of curiosity? What if you had a sure fire way of opening up the second possibility? I don’t know about you but my preference is definitely for the latter. One of my most memorable experiences from the Mind Body Spirit Festival some years ago was having an aura reader ask me just how I got my aura of “perfect spiritual protection” after I sat down to ask her about auras. It only happened because I was prepared to take an interest in her pathway.

3/ Inviting others to share their stories empowers you with real knowledge. One of the things that makes me cringe most is watching evangelicals offering answers to questions that no one is asking and constructing straw men arguments to demonstrate the superiority of their path, which prove nothing of the sort. That is no way to conduct inter-religious dialogue! It does not glorify God. And it does not reflect well on the speaker either. How much better to be conversant on what the real issues are for your dialogue partners, and to have a real handle on their spiritual pathways? I know no better way on educating yourself about other religions than by having them explained to you by a living practitioner. That’s primary source information! Take it from me, if you give this a go you’ll be surprised just how trashy and amateurish most Christian books on other religions will start looking in a few weeks. And with real knowledge you  are in a much better position to have real conversations and answer real questions.

But it goes both ways

Before I finish though, I have a word for my non-Christian readers: this can work for you too. If you want to be understood by Christians, first try to understand them. If you have a criticism about Christianity that you’d like Christians to listen to, to acknowledge as valid, first show that you can appreciate the positive aspects of Christianity and have more than one eye. Even I sometimes get annoyed at being criticized, and having my religion being criticized, and I am fairly tolerant. I am much more open to critics who refrain from universalizing their own experience and ask me about my own. Showing you genuinely appreciate my story will make me more receptive to yours too. It will invite me to reciprocate. And it will empower you too.