Curious Christian

Reflections on culture, nature, and spirituality from a Christian perspective

Grace and Truth: Towards True Intimacy

Published by

Matt Stone

2007-11-07

One of the things I like about the Christian counseling course I am presently working through is the way it brings both theology and psychology together in both a practical and theoretical way. The course is specifically aimed at helping us develop practical experience and a working theology in concert with one another, an approach that gels very well with own my holistic orientation.

This weekend I was studying my class notes on Dr Henry Cloud in preparation for my upcoming exam, and one of the key issues Cloud raises is the way both grace and truth apply work in the counseling process. I particularly remember one comment, that both grace and truth are necessary for true intimacy. Without grace, truth only brings experience of judgment and shame. But without truth, there is no meeting of the true self.

I have long held that legalism (truth without grace) and license (grace without truth) are equal and opposite errors, and have been critical of those who regard the first as the lesser evil, but this comment about finding true intimacy really struck home. Separating truth from grace and grace from truth is not just a theological error; it is also a practical error of the most serious kind. In a sense, we cannot find true love unless there is truth in love. This takes me back to the beginning of the gospel of John: “For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” Simple words, profound impact.

Have you experienced loveless truth?
Have you experienced truth-blind love?
Have you experienced the qualitative difference?

Tags Grace, Psychology

5 responses to “Grace and Truth: Towards True Intimacy”

sally

2007-11-08

sounds like a good course, I am hoping to take a psychology module for my MA next year… the trouble is I want to do everything and I only have 4 choices!!!

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Matt Stone

2007-11-08

I am enjoying it. So much I decided to switch streams from a Graduate Diploma in Divinity to a Graduate Diploma in Christian Counseling six months ago.
I am looking at formalizing the switch in December. They have to interview me but as I have already done two subjects now,and received a distinction in the first, it seems to be more of a formality.
As you’d be aware there is a strong correlation between psychology and spirituality in many New Religious Movements so with that, and the fact I am finding it so useful in so many other ways, I can highly recommend it to someone like yourself who is on a similar path.
The only thing I would say is make sure you sus out how practical the course emphasis is. I understand there are other ones around that are far more academic / abstract.

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Peggy

2007-11-08

Very interesting reading these days in your “In Between” zone, Matt!
This post speaks volumes to me, as you might expect, and shows for me again the centrality of the concept of “hesed” (mercy, loving-kindness, love in Hebrew…represented in Greek with love/agape, grace/charis and mercy/eleos) when we come to Paul’s words to the Ephesians about “speaking the truth in love” as a way for them to mature in Christ.
Hesed, as a covenant term signifying faithfulness to keeping the conditions of the covenant, is something that all parties of the covenant are to extend to each other at all times. God is faithful in his hesed toward us and we are to be faithful as well, both toward God and toward our brothers and sisters in Christ…because we constitute on Body, the Bride of Christ, the Church.
This understanding of mutuality has brought the term to have the meaning of seeking the best interest of the other, according to the covenant. In this way of thinking, there can be no truth speaking if there is no acknowledgment of the need for hesed. If I speak “facts” to you without regard for how those facts are to be received so that you are better able to keep covenant, they contain no truth…in fact, they can actually be closer to a lie!
It breaks my heart to see the number of times “facts” masquerading as “truth” have been used to tear down and destroy rather that build up and encourage. And this is why hesed is central to the kind of powerful love/grace/mercy we are meant to share in Christ.
…so much to process, brother!

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Lainie Petersen

2007-11-09

Some really good insight here, Matt.
To answer your questions:
*Have you experienced loveless truth?
Yes, I have, and while the observations may have been helpful, I was less capable of constructively responding to the “truth” because of the loveless way that it was presented.
*Have you experienced truth-blind love?
Yep. And while it was obviously more nuturing than loveless truth, it was scarcely more constructive.
*Have you experienced the qualitative difference?
Yes, and I would argue that, in fact, truth and love are not in conflict, but that they enhance each other. In fact, I think that they may even be necessary to each other.
Speaking the “truth” about someone, without love, can be nothing more than a recitation of facts, rather than “truth”, which is much more comprehensive than facts alone. Truth includes an understanding of circumstances, human limitations, and motivations. I don’t think that we can understand/discover these things without love.
I’d also argue that the reverse is true: When we claim to “love” someone, without acknowledging the the truth about them and/or their behavior, can we really be said to love that person? If we have conveniently projected our idealized image of that person onto them, what is it that we love: The person? Or our own desires?
Finally, I’d note that true intimacy is something that only comes about with time. We can have intense feelings about someone, even love that person, without having intimacy with him/her. That is why community, and a committment to it, is so important.

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Matt Stone

2007-11-09

Interesting that you should mention the time element Lainie, Cloud goes on to articulate the three essentials as grace, truth and time.

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