5 ways to have fun with holographic multi-site pastors

hologram preachers

I’ve been thinking of ways to have fun with holographic multi-site pastors. Here’s the first five that come to mind for me:

  1. Approach the dais in a white frock and exclaim, “Help me, Pastor Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”
  2. Suggest the men’s ministry leaders combine mixed martial arts ministry with Star Wars chess, “But, let the Wookies win.”
  3. Front up on Sundays with a Ghostbusters proton pack, ecto-goggles and a ghost trap.
  4. Voice over, “Please state the nature of the ministry emergency” when multi-site celebrity guy is “activated” on stage.
  5. Paint a big “H” on his forehead and carry on about curries

This could be the best thing since church street signs.

Can you think of any more?

12 thoughts on “5 ways to have fun with holographic multi-site pastors

  1. Another – call them Orson coz they always seem to use that word (`awesome’)and it matches with the hologram on Red Dwarf.


  2. …and if some pastor has a sense of humor, he/she needs to clip an iPod shuffle (or something like that) to his/her sleeve and call it a mobile emitter. ;^)


  3. On the gnostic question – disembodied emanations of oneself “in spirit” (in the spirit of the Holo thing) -one’s hovering overhead over oneself angelically – it sounds absolutely Platonistic to me.


  4. Being a hologram means it is much easier to say “Beam me up Scotty” when “there is no intelligent life down here” from the congregation when they don’t listen to your sermon, or respond with hostility because what you said was too true and they now want to martyr you because of that.


  5. Here’s another: draw a big circle on the stage, bring along a ouija board, and when the pastor arrives exclaim in a huff, “Dang, summoned the wrong guy!”


  6. If we beamed down the holo doctor played by Robert Piccardo on Star Trek to check out the authenticy of any charismatic healings we’d now have to obtain clearance from the bosses of his new series Stargate Atlantis where he plays the CEO of the Atlantis project team. They do have transporters for beaming one another around on both programs. Personally, I wonder why they just haven’t cloned angelic wings on the team members – they must have the technology to do it – to get them around.
    On the Ouija Board summoning mistake, what if they got one of the predators from Alien instead? Or maybe perhaps not, but an English Police phone box…..
    Anyway, I’m getting mixed holo-emissions from this holyholo-transmission now.
    Am wondering if the holgraphic stuff is somehow linked to the quantum physics/spirituality theme that seems to be popular to discuss nowadays?


  7. What happens when in some futuristic time some highly imaginative and `innovative’ prophet manipulates this holographic technology to somehow proclaim the images that it projects of himself are his “ascended self” – untouchable, unaccountable, aesthetically attractive, ageless – to build a pop-religious cultish following from anyone guillible enough to trust and follow him?
    “Ascension” of ones-self is a popular theme in the Stargate series.
    Anyway just chucking this in for some `apocalyptical fun’ with the topic of holographic religious identities.


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