Warning Signs of Dispen(sen)sationalism

The_rapture_is_not_an_exit_strategy_1 Here's a list I found rather timely:

Top Ten Signs That You Are OBSESSED With Bible Prophecy

10. You use the Left Behind books as devotional reading.

9. You get goose bumps when you hear a trumpet.

8. You believe the term "Church Fathers" refers to Hal Lindsey and Tim LaHaye.

7. You believe there is an original Greek and Hebrew text with Scofield's notes.

6. You can name more signs of the times than Commandments.

5. You refuse a tax refund check because the amount comes to $666.

4. Barcode scanners make you nervous.

3. You talk your church into adapting the '60s pop song, "Up, Up, and Away" as a Christian hymn.

2. You never buy green bananas.

1. You always leave the top down on your convertible (or your sunroof open) in case the rapture happens.

Personally I would have added, "Daily newspapers are amongst your favourite exegetal reference tools" and "You have identified one or more public figures as the anti-Christ through numerological substitution," as worthy contenders for the list.

But speaking of tabloid based eschatology, I wonder how the Rapture Index is doing now Hezbollah and Israel are standing off. Maybe I should sell a red heifer on eBay and see what I can get for it.

PS. Don'y ya just luv the photo?

3 thoughts on “Warning Signs of Dispen(sen)sationalism

  1. LOL.
    Growing up, my phone number was 666-5920. I knew what the 666 meant (that the rapture would start in my town), but I had trouble with the rest of the number. The best I came up with is “KYB0” from the corresponding letters on a phone pad. According to answers.com, it means “Keep Your Bowels Open.”


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