Things god wants us to teach our kids

I have had many people asking me questions about Christianity lately, but you know, the hardest questions of all are the ones my four year old has been asking. He has this strange way of disarming all my sophisticated answers and forcing me to face my own limitations. He asks me “why?” then “why?” then “why?” forcing me to go deeper, and then asks “where is God?” and suddenly I get this gut response:

Some things cannot be communicated easily
Some times I don’t know how to answer
Some times I don’t know the answer
Some questions are more penetrating precisely for their simplicity

So I find my self asking, what are the things God most wants us to teach our kids? How much can I teach my kids at this age? What does God want me to learn from my kids?

9 responses to “Things god wants us to teach our kids”

Peggy

2007-12-04

Welcome to my world, Matt! Although my boys are now 6, 9 and 12, the questions don’t get any easier. And at the risk of overstepping my welcome, I thought I’d share my thoughts about your three questions (which I continually ask myself, as well):
What are the things God most wants us to teach our kids?
God wants us to teach our kids that we are trustworthy and faithful and patient and restrained and always looking out for their best interest. (These are, of course, the very definition of cHesed… ;^) ) Because when they learn to experience these things about us, they will recognize those same characters in God. And that environment is where we will be best able to teach them about God: incarnationally.
How much can I teach my kids at this age?
More than you think they are learning! LOL! I find that the balance with children is first about character (what is God like?) and then about details/history (what does God do?) and finally about response (how are we supposed to respond to who God is and what God does?)
I have enjoyed going through all the levels of Children’s Bibles/Story books with them, reading at bedtime. As they get longer attention spans and better vocabularies, we can talk more about what’s really going on. And it always comes back to them and what they’re doing and how they’re treating others and learning to trust and obey God by trusting and obeying their parents.
Right now, I’m reading through the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version of the Bible, because it retains all the context and themes without overwhelming their attention span with minutia and literary genre-based repetitions. We are in Job…now that’s a challenging book to process these questions! :^)
What does God want me to learn from my kids?
That parenting is a tremendous blessing that can give us tremendous insight into who God is and how he deals with us…it is meant to be the ultimate spiritual discipline, because it is 24/7/365 for at least 18 years (but continues your whole life). You cannot fool your children…they will see right through your moods and weaknesses. You can’t call in sick…you can’t send them off when they’re out of control…at times, only God can help you respond appropriately.
So, I am learning to embrace (age and subject appropriate, of course) honesty and openness in how I’m feeling about the relationship I have with them…what makes me happy and what makes me sad and what makes me angry and how seriously I take this responsibility God has given to me. To apologize when I am wrong and go immediately to God for help and wisdom on how to repair the damage. To be honest about what I do know and what I don’t know and what we can know and what we can’t know.
The most challenging question of all comes when they want to know what it means to be a Christian…because it is when we see all the chinks in our own armor, as it were. And it is best to know every one of your own weakness… because your children will surely see them! And you never know when they’ll share it in public! :^)
Be blessed, brother, in the severe mercy that children are–severe in the enormity of the task yet a mercy in the unexplainable delight they bring to our lives… they are God’s very best training tool! Talk about trial by fire….

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John

2007-12-04

Matt, Please check out What To Remember To Be Happy, and other essays (etc) on Conscious Child Rearing via:
1. http://www.dabase.org/happytxt.htm

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Matt Stone

2007-12-05

“they are God’s very best training tool!”
Indeed. I wonder if Rick Warren or Bill Hybels will package them in that case? 🙂
I wonder how many more of you are parent like Sally and myself?

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Peggy

2007-12-05

Ha, Matt! Already been done with “Sacred Parenting” see this link:

Just saw this book the other week at my in-law’s home…their Sunday School class is going through it.

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Dave

2007-12-06

I am not yet a father so perhaps that disqualifies me from commenting but I think you observations make a couple points:
Faith is central to God’s plan for us in this life.
The ‘sophistication’ of our most learned and philosophical discussions can be broken down by the most simple minds.
Perhaps another layer to Jesus’ statement “except ye become as a little child”
Some truth can come from ‘gut feelings’
Perhaps having children is the greatest qualification to discuss deep religious questions.

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Matt Stone

2007-12-06

Comments are always welcome Dave. I very much had the comment of Jesus to come as a child in my mind writing this.
I am not so sure having children is a qualification to deep God discussion so much as having the capacity to listen to children, which I’m sure you’ll agree is not the same thing.

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Peggy

2007-12-06

Agreed, Matt…but it is a different thing when you have three children who would talk non-stop to you 24/7 if you would just give then the opportunity! It is the constancy of their presence that gives the parent insight into God’s character.
And, Dave, it isn’t a matter of qualification, either. It is a matter of resonance, more like the difference between knowing something from a book over against experiencing something that you have learned about from a book…and finding that the experience was totally other than you expected!
Parenting brings out both the best and the worst in me…and, in God’s hands, that is a wonderful tool. It gives me hope and insight, but it also keeps me humble at the same time! :^)
Matt, this will help you understand why I believe restraint is God’s most important attribute…because he restrains his more than just anger and frustration and judgment and impatience with our shortcomings in order that we may learn and grow according to our ability at any given moment.
How many times are we frustrated because we are wanting someone to be or do according to our wants rather than in accordance with their readiness to be or do.
This is certainly my experience each and every day…and I pray that I will remain soft enough for the Potter’s hand to be able to continue to mold me and make me more like Christ.

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Dave

2007-12-06

I like your word ‘resonance’ Peggy, I think that better describes the feeling I was trying to convey.

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Peggy

2007-12-07

I think you’re right, Dave, that the stronger our experiences resonate with God’s (or any other, actually), the more it helps us understand and leads us to a deeper capacity to discuss.
This is the very underpinning of incarnational ministry, isn’t it… that we would come close enough to feel the resonance that is the Imago Dei in each person we meet… and like a tuning fork that is brought nearby, we will begin to resonate to that same frequency.
Hmmm…I’ll have to ponder that some more!

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