Curious Christian

Reflections on culture, nature, and spirituality from a Christian perspective

Tolerance or Forgiveness: What’s Needed for Lasting Peace?

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Matt Stone

2008-10-09

Tolerance and forgiveness are often seen as kindred concepts, but they diverge in significant ways. Tolerance, at its core, implies a sort of quiet endurance—an acceptance, or at the very least, a decision to let something be. It says, in essence, “This is how things are, and I will not allow it to disturb me.” In that sense, tolerance doesn’t seek to correct or resolve anything; it simply holds its ground, refusing to engage deeply with whatever offense or injustice may be present.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, acknowledges the harm done. It’s not a passive act. It involves a process of reckoning with hurt, betrayal, or wrongdoing, and then consciously choosing to release that weight. Forgiveness implies that something wrong has occurred but that, despite this, one is willing to let go, to move beyond it, and, in some cases, to seek healing.

Tolerance, by contrast, sidesteps this inner confrontation. It doesn’t require us to name the wrong or to seek closure. Instead, it leans toward a sort of emotional detachment or indifference. “There is nothing to forgive,” tolerance whispers, even when, perhaps, there is much that needs reckoning. And this raises an important question: Can tolerance, without the depth of forgiveness, truly lead to peace, especially in the face of injustice?

Injustice, by its very nature, demands a response. It stirs something within us, a need to stand up, to make things right, or at the very least, to acknowledge that something is wrong. If tolerance brushes this aside—if it tells us that there’s nothing to forgive or nothing worth confronting—how can it ever bring true peace? Peace, after all, is more than the absence of conflict. It’s the presence of harmony, justice, and resolution.

Perhaps tolerance, in some cases, allows us to avoid escalating conflict, but it may also allow the root of that conflict to fester. Without addressing the underlying causes of hurt or injustice, peace may remain shallow, fragile, and easily shattered. For lasting peace, we may need to move beyond mere tolerance. We might need the courage to face the discomfort, to engage with the pain or the wrongs done, and to seek forgiveness—not just to let things go, but to heal, to restore, and to transform. Only then can peace, true peace, take root.

Tags Forgiveness, Tolerance

13 responses to “Tolerance or Forgiveness: What’s Needed for Lasting Peace?”

Ben Sternke

2008-10-09

No. And I think typically the only people who think so are those who’ve never been touched personally with the real horror of injustice and brutality.
This was the “exclusion” part of Miroslav Volf’s account of how forgiveness might be possible in his homeland. And the lessons from South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission ring loud and clear, too: the reconciliation doesn’t happen without the truth.

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Peggy

2008-10-09

I struggle with the term tolerance and how it is portrayed so often in this manner.
There are lots of definitions for this word, many of them of a technical nature. Some of them are very interesting….
The definition that I think applies (or is twisted?) in this case, according to Webster’s, is: The endurance of the presence or actions of objectionable persons, or of the expression of offensive opinions; toleration.
This is what I think has been lost when we equate toleration with approval. This is why “loving the sinner and hating the sin” is both misunderstood by those who are not Christian and not practiced properly by many who are Christian.
I think this confusion has occurred because the technical definition has been adapted for relational circumstances: Allowed amount of variation from the standard or from exact conformity to the specified dimensions, weight, etc., as in various mechanical operations; specif.: (Coinage) The amount which coins, either singly or in lots, are legally allowed to vary above or below the standard of weight or fineness.
Which brings me to Webster’s usage from forestry, which I think is priceless when applied in the context of this post: Capability of growth in more or less shade.
If we don’t push back on the definition, there will me more shade than sun shining on truth!

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Steve Hayes

2008-10-09

Matt,
I’m not sure what you’re getting at here.
A quote on my synchroblog post includes “To be tolerant is to be neither indifferent nor relativistic. Neither is it to sanction injustice or to be permissive of evil. Injustice is intolerable and evil has no rights.”
Can forgiveness lead to peace in the face of injustice? Can there be forgiveness without repentance?
Could you clarify?

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John

2008-10-11

Matthew, Please check out this essay and website
http://www.ispeace723.org/cplustequalsp2.html
in which the author points out that in this time in history,we have no other choice but to renounce the old “order” of never-ending murderous scape-goat politics and embrace the Heart based politics of Cooperation Tolerance and Peace.
A paragraph from one of the other essays.
“ALL have suffered. ALL are equally full of nonsense. Therefore, in principle, there must be a new and universal politics—a politics of NO praise and NO blame. By these means, reconciliation must be achieved–cooperatively, in a disposition of mutual to;erance, trust, and respect.”
In another essay titled ONLY Rightness Makes Justice True(not available online) the author points out that revenge killings and executions do great psychic harm to all of those who participate in such, and even to those who merely witness such acts.
Altogether he points out that we all exist in a universal pattern of relationship in which everyone and everything is interconnected—the Indivisible Unity of Existence-Being. And that we have all been here many times before, and most probably have been snuffed out many times in dreadful circumstances, and have participated in the perpetration of evil acts (again many times).
And that we are all capable of experiencing and DOING both the very best and marvellous. And the most unspeakably degraded (and degrading)worst that any other human being has ever experienced or done. It all depends on the context and circumstances in which any individual, or group of individuals, find themselves.
And that we create our own karma both individually and collectively. And that the laws of karma are immutable—sooner or later we all get our karmic just deserts.
“Outside the Heart there is only confusion and fear.
Who is not Light Itself
performs the murder of everything
while we eat.
So I am here to tell you everything
must change.
To now there is only the perefect
refusal of love.”

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John

2008-10-11

Matthew, Please check out this essay and website
http://www.ispeace723.org/cplustequalsp2.html
in which the author points out that in this time in history,we have no other choice but to renounce the old “order” of never-ending murderous scape-goat politics and embrace the Heart based politics of Cooperation Tolerance and Peace.
A paragraph from one of the other essays.
“ALL have suffered. ALL are equally full of nonsense. Therefore, in principle, there must be a new and universal politics—a politics of NO praise and NO blame. By these means, reconciliation must be achieved–cooperatively, in a disposition of mutual to;erance, trust, and respect.”
In another essay titled ONLY Rightness Makes Justice True(not available online) the author points out that revenge killings and executions do great psychic harm to all of those who participate in such, and even to those who merely witness such acts.
Altogether he points out that we all exist in a universal pattern of relationship in which everyone and everything is interconnected—the Indivisible Unity of Existence-Being. And that we have all been here many times before, and most probably have been snuffed out many times in dreadful circumstances, and have participated in the perpetration of evil acts (again many times).
And that we are all capable of experiencing and DOING both the very best and marvellous. And the most unspeakably degraded (and degrading)worst that any other human being has ever experienced or done. It all depends on the context and circumstances in which any individual, or group of individuals, find themselves.
And that we create our own karma both individually and collectively. And that the laws of karma are immutable—sooner or later we all get our karmic just deserts.
“Outside the Heart there is only confusion and fear.
Who is not Light Itself
performs the murder of everything
while we eat.
So I am here to tell you everything
must change.
To now there is only the perefect
refusal of love.”

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Lucy J

2008-10-11

I’m just about to go away for the weekend so just have a few minutes to add my 2 cents worth in case anybody finds some value in it… am reading (slowly ploughing through) Stanley Hauerwas “Performing the Faith” in which he discusses Bonhoeffer’s theological work and interestingly enough, the word ‘tolerance’ comes up. Bonhoeffer, was imprisoned and eventually executed for his part in an assassination attempt on Hitler. Here was a man whose writings revealed his passion for truth. He pursued it from his socio-cultural, Protestant Christian perspective. His travels to Union Seminary in the USA exposed him to their socio-cultural Protestant Christian perspective which he found in his opinion to lack guts because they were “too tolerant”! He felt that overall the American attitude of tolerance, and in fact the tolerance of neighbouring nations in Europe to the rise of the Nazi regime in Europe elevated the concept of peace over pursuit of truth. (This peace was more the clutching at a straw called ‘absence of conflict’, and not the much more comprehensive and holistic concept of peace as the harmonious living of the Hebrew ‘Shalom’).
The reason I am mentioning this is because it is another historical example of the advance of power systems that facilitate human injustice/abuse/atrocity in a climate of tolerance. I also appreciate what Ben Sternke said about the South African situation. After abusive power systems have been dismantled (often at very high costs, including human life), a reconstruction or reconciliation process can only really occur when the truth comes out and is acknowledged and addressed from all parties involved in the conflict. After WW1, this did not adequately occur and a punitive reparation policy helped create the climate for the rise of Nazism.
It’s such a tragedy that humanity has the propensity to repeat history despite crying out loud that we should learn from it. No wonder karmic immutability holds some descriptive attraction. Is there no relief from the cycle? I’m not convinced that tolerance provides a universally effective answer. Try telling Australian Aborigines that there is nothing to forgive. Should they tolerate their situation as a disenfranchised race? Or any other First Nations people of our world for that matter? The list goes on and on, as we are well aware.
That being said, I think that tolerance is applicable when respecting the other as long as the other isn’t actively planning to disadvantage/harm/exterminate their fellow human beings or the ecological environment that supports us all. But I don’t think tolerance is applicable in the case of addressing injustice or cultivating an attitude of forgiveness. Perhaps only LOVE can accomplish that… the kind of love that involves thoughts and action to create a future rather than destroy the present.

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Matt Stone

2008-10-11

Steve, maybe I should illustrate with an example. I have particular tastes in music which aren’t always in sync with my wife’s friends. I like grunge rock, which they find too abrasive. They like music which I find sappy and hyperglycemia inducing. We have differences, but neither is right nor wrong, so we tolerate them in the name of peace. Some people, by extension, think tolerance is a way to solve all conflict. But I would argue that this is misguided. Where there is injustice, more than tolerance is required. Repentance and forgiveness is required. This is where I find some people get very muddled. They’ll argue for relativism in ethics, they’ll argue against any absolute moral standards, yet get angry about things like September 11. Very inconsistent. I note for example that there was not one word on forgiveness in the Adi Da essays John directs us to. Because he’s a relativist, he can only speak of tolerance, he can’t talk forgiveness and remain self consistant.

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Matt Stone

2008-10-11

Lucy, yeah, that’s exactly what I am talking about. I am very much with Bonhoeffer on this. Tollerance is important, but its not everything. And the sad reality is that, when coupled with relativism, the tollerant, for all their good intensions, can actually open the doors to monsterous injustices. Tollerance, interpreted as a panacea, can lead to the castration of truth and justice. The only thing I would add to your comments is that I would say, its not just love, its TRUTH and LOVE that accomplishes this, together with TIME. That’s the dynamic of forgiveness.

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Sally

2008-10-11

No- tollerance says I will put up with you- but forgiveness frees people… there is a huge difference!!!

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Steve Hayes

2008-10-13

Matt,
I’m still not sure how your analogy works.
Tolerance means that I’ll put up with other people whose musical taste differs from my own.
But I can only forgive them for it if they repent of their bad taste.
Tolerance means we don’t need to fight over it in the first place.

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Matt Stone

2008-10-14

Tollerance may help prevent injustices, but can it restore just relationships after injustices have been commited?

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Peggy

2008-10-14

Interesting thoughts about forgiveness being raised….
For one human to forgive another does not require the offending person to repent, necessarily, does it?
Forgiveness does not automatically result in restoration … it just chooses to leave justice in the hands of God, who knows the heart of the individual.
Tolerance cannot restore relationships when repentance and transformation have not taken place. To be tolerated is not the same as to be restored to love or trust in a relationship.

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Lucy J

2008-10-14

There certainly is researched evidence to support the idea that there are psychological freedom and physical health benefits in the act of forgiveness. I’m wondering about tolerance. Perhaps it does have a role in keeping people at least civil if they can’t agree on some kind of issue, but once offence and injustice has occurred, I think tolerance reaches its limitation as it cannot figure in a restoration process in the way that forgiveness and reconciliation do. Peggy, you raise an interesting point. Some people might acknowledge the activity of a just God in the forgiveness equation, but there must be some who do not, and yet one would think that all people are innately capable of giving and receiving forgiveness. I’d be interested to hear from anyone who thinks that this innate capacity is not related to God, anyone who relates to many gods, or any combination as to how they think about forgiveness and restoration.

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